


Defying Ghosts

by Xythia



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Family first, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 10:26:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6902122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xythia/pseuds/Xythia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 'Family First; Tony is thinking about why he has to leave. (Spoilers for episode 24!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defying Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> The episode was hard to watch and I had to get this off my chest. it is not a master piece, more experimental than full fledged but it helped me sort my thoughts.
> 
> I was never a fan of Ziva so I wasn't really sad about her fate and Tali is cute. MW's acting was very good but- the plot didn't make sense to me. Crossroads is still on my schedule but first I have to digest canon.

Just a short, not beta read story about ‘Family First’. No true love Tiva.

.-.-.-.-.-

Tony let his forehead rest against the cool pane of the window. His breath was drawing patterns on the glass which strangely complemented the turbulent evening sky, riotous with wind-swept clouds and the colors of the sinking sun. 

The end of the day and the end of an era.

He didn’t regret handing in his resignation, not really. His reasons had been solid. How often had he flirted with death while on the job? How often had he heard someone say that Anthony DiNozzo was an accident waiting to happen? And that had been acceptable, had been fine and good – something he even joked about - with a big smile on his face, shoving the niggling despair deep, deep down.  
He hadn’t told even one tiny little lie to Gibbs. Tony really had to think of Tali first, someone who depended on him.

Leaving the MCRT for her sake- 

No, no-

Tony turned away and ignored nature’s masterful mood painting. He would lie to his (former) colleagues, he would lie to his father but he had long ago promised himself that he would never believe in his own projected persona. He had broken that rule with Jeanne, and look what it nearly got him.

He had left the team for Tali’s sake, yes. But he had needed to leave NCIS for his own peace of mind just as much.

MCRT was trouble, dangerous and too time intense to fit his new life as a father, at least if he wanted to be a good father. But he could have asked for a transfer instead of leaving. The Cold Case team would have welcomed him with open arms. He would have been able to keep in contact with his old team, would have enjoyed the connections he had forged in DC and the life he had built here. 

And there was the rub. Everyone would have wanted to talk with him about Ziva and help him grieve. Office gossip would have been never ending. They would have pitied him (Bishop), tried to analyze his ‘progress’ with his grieving process (Abby with a chart and Ducky with rambling advice couched in stories). He didn’t want his tragic love story to appear in a Gemcity story. And, if he was on an honesty trip he should address that too, Tony shied away from having his baby steps as a father under the uber-kid friendly nose of Gibbs. Maybe petty, but there it was. But Ziva-

They all acted as if Ziva had been the love of his life and they wouldn’t be able to understand why Tony didn’t act as devastated as they thought he should be.

Yes, he had been furious like hell and hot for revenge against Kort. More than he would have been if the victim had been Ellie, just to name someone. He had loved Ziva.

But not as much as everyone was now convinced that he had been.

Maybe they were right.

Maybe Tony would never meet someone he could love more than Ziva.

But Ziva hadn’t been his Shannon.

Romeo and Juliet they were not.

The sex had been great, no question. And they had shared a lot of history, shared pain, shared danger. Often enough they had caused pain and danger to each other. Tony touched the spot on his shoulder that corresponded with the injury Rivkin had caused and Ziva had aggravated with her angry, emotional assault. 

Yeah, a healthy relationship wasn’t defined by how many scars had been carved into a partner’s body and soul.

If she had been his one true love(destined partner, soul-mates and all that-), they would have found a way to work it out three years ago, for him to stay in Israel with Ziva or a way for her to join him in DC. For her, her pride and broken life had been more important than a relationship with him, otherwise she would have told him about Tali. For Tony his self-worth had been mainly defined by his job, which was consequently more important than staying with her and leaving everything that made him Tony DiNozzo. 

Tony sighed.  
He still didn’t want to be defined by her.  
Not by her life.  
Not by her death.  
Not by the way people expected him to act because she had been murdered.

Tony DiNozzo wasn’t Leroy Jethro Gibbs!

Tony DiNozzo would cherish the gift Ziva had given him, Tali, he would find a new niche and a job he could shine at and he would be happy.

Yes he would!

The Beginning.


End file.
